No Behavior Is Too Icky for Love
adoption attachment-challenged children boundaries foster parenting safety and limits shame and rejection trauma driven behaviors Mar 05, 2026
Dear Parents,
Whether you brought home your child ten years or ten days ago from a difficult beginning, you may be triggering painful shame all over the place. Automatic habituated reactions of fear result in negative behavioral acting out. You may get pushed away, insulted, demeaned and rejected at every turn. Your child may take to self-injurious punishment by cutting, hitting walls, or taking extreme bodily risks. There may even have disgusting behaviors like smearing feces, peeing on the floor, or eating gross things from the garbage to elicit reaction and/or rejection from you.
The overriding goal of healing this child's broken heart is to demonstrate that no icky behavior is so horrible that it cannot be understood and addressed by you. They will not be harmed here. There will be no casting off.
Setting limits is essential for social rehabilitation, but that can only be done within the context of true safety from abuse or rejection by the parent.
Once again, Child Whisperer, you are earning your name.
Your Love Matters,
Ce
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Creator of the Love+ Parenting Model found only in the Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program.
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