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Win-Win

Aug 08, 2021

Dear Parent,

Complex trauma is the result of attachment breaches plus maltreatment in the early years.  Because of that, our children with complex trauma are hyper-vigilant and survival oriented.  

You may not realize this, but your child is unconsciously taking your emotional temperature all the time.  How you feel matters to how your child feels.

Unfortunately, children personalize negative emotions when we parents have them on the outside.  If you are having an off day due to work, personal stressors, or illness, tell your child.  In this way, you are owning your feelings out loud, and at the same time giving your child another reason besides It's my fault for your affective behavior.  You would be surprised to know how relieving this can be for an overly vigilant child.  It is also nice role modeling to acknowledge a bad day without blaming it on other people. Win-Win.

Mirror, mirror on the wall…

Love matters,

Ce

 

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.

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