Stories Of Their Own

Dear Parent,

I want you all to know that I do not feel hopeless.  Some of you read hopelessness into my struggles and I want to be clear that I am optimistic. I love my sweet children.  I have my issues with them, but I rarely give up hope. 

Parents of attachment challenged children can become consumed with control, compliance, and social appropriateness. Focusing on that somehow lessens the fear of the future. I am no exception. The possibility of my children becoming lost, criminal, errant, and antisocial worries me to the bone, so I mistakenly focus on behavior, as though that were the actual problem. It is not.

Relationship is the problem AND the solution. Love matters. Your love matters.  So does mine.  To quote Rev. Jesse Jackson, "Keep hope alive."  Where there is love, there is hope.  Where there are boundaries, there is peace.

My son is a really delightful person.  He is loving, loyal to his friends and family, well-intentioned and fun-loving.  He has growing up still to do.  I am okay with that.  I will be mothering him for a good long time to come.  I accept that.

Finally, I want you to know that my daughter is scrappy. She is determined, driven, and resourceful.  While I cringe at many of her choices, I marvel at her strength, her love for others, and her resolve to live the life she wants. In many ways she reminds me of myself when I was her age. I took the hard road and so has she. I wanted to spare her that, but she has her own trajectory. I did. You did. Our children do. 

Hope springs eternal.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.