Short End Of The Right Stick

Dear Parent,

Our children often have underdeveloped pre-frontal cortices. This accounts for poor judgment, lack of cause and effect thinking, and poor choices, which results in our repeating the same things over and over and over and over like the movie Ground Hog Day. You get the idea.  

We parents of these same children often find ourselves eternally locked in a struggle about who is right.  Our children are usually holding the short end of that stick, right? Their brain chemistry nearly insists upon it. Yet, they never tire of arguing for their side.

Imagine this: If you felt endlessly judged as wrong mostly because your parents were often loudly, emphatically pointing out your poor judgment in an effort to TEACH you judgment, you, too, might ceaselessly battle to find the loop hole, the exception, the tiniest point where, just once, maybe you could prove your parent wrong. At the same time, you would be proving yourself right, and ultimately raising your shrunken esteem just a tad in the triumph.  If you had a pre-frontal cortex deficit, you might not be able to see the hole in your logic or the futility of your efforts.

How bad must it feel to truly lack the ability to make sound decisions on a regular basis?  Our kids suffer in ways we can hardly imagine.

Grow compassion in your family garden wherever you can.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.