Our Kids Break Things

attachment behavior breaking things delayed development extrapolation Dec 05, 2024
A broken plate.

Our Kids Break Things Sometimes.

How should we handle it when they do?

Our kids break things to test the limits because they cannot intuit the breaking point and when to stop.  This is an attachment issue.  A lack of good enough parenting in the first thirty-three months of life—starting at conception—creates in a child’s brain the inability to know when to put the brakes on   So, SNAP, it’s broken.  Have you noticed that your child seems surprised every time something is broken?  It broke. 

Extrapolation is a pre-frontal cortex function, also known as an executive function.  Our attachment challenged children cannot extrapolate one broken thing to another.  They have a higher level of cortisol (stress hormone) flooding their pre-frontal cortices, thus delaying the development of the executive function.  With this function delayed our children have difficulty putting two and two together.  

It is important for us to understand this.  How can we continue to expect age appropriate behavior from a child whose brain is delayed?

The million-dollar question is, Will this ever change?  With help, most of the time it will, only much later than we parents desire. Hang in there.

When upset today, take one deep breath before speaking, or maybe three.

Love Matters,
❤️Ce
Creator of the Love+ Parenting Model found only in the
Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program.

P.S. You are invited, if you haven't watched it already, to register here for my FREE Masterclass helping you bust the negative post-adoption behavior in your family.

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📖 Get your copy of Drowning with My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman

✨ Hear the Success Stories: LoveMattersParenting.com/testimonials

 🔍 Check out my websites: LoveMattersParenting.com and AttachPlace.com

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