Nothing Works (Part 3 of 3)

Dear Parent,

Relationship is what works, and here's the rub.  Relationship scares your attachment challenged child to the core. An undercurrent running 24/7 in the background of your child's psyche, which she doesn’t know is there, is a terror that you will one day hurt her, starve her, abandon her, or emotionally abuse her.  

You are attempting to create a trust-based relationship with a child that may never have been able to trust an adult one hundred percent.  How long does it take you to give one hundred percent trust in relationships, friendships, partnerships? 

If you had a secure childhood, you may find it easy to trust.  Many of us, however, did not leave childhood unscathed by spare the rod and spoil the child parenting or personal deficits in our parents.  Trust, then, doesn't come that easily in relationships.

What is your child's early history?  The degree to which she was harmed will be the degree to which she is silently terrorized on the inside.  That correlates to the length of time it will take you to establish a trusting relationship that influences negative and positive behavior.

Yes, I am talking about years to calm that vigilant brain.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.