Nonsensical Lying Makes Sense
Apr 04, 2021
Dear Parent,
Nonsensical lying makes sense if you understand the internal workings of children who come from difficult beginnings.
Nonsensical lying is triggered by exactly the same thing that triggers emotionally dysregulated meltdowns—pure fear. This can be a pervasive fear of the unknown, fear of being in trouble, fear of authority, fear of change, fear of danger, fear of vulnerability, fear of abuse, fear of being out-of-control, fear of giving up control, fear of death, fear of deprivation, fear of powerlessness, fear of loss, fear of abandonment, fear of you—fear.
When your child lies to you, tell her you know she is afraid and that's why she lied. Assure her that you are a safe person to tell the truth to and then be that safe person. Oh yeah, that is the hard part.
We parents usually have as much work to do on being safe, as children do on being honest.
Love matters,
Ce
P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.
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