Dear Parent,
My traumatized children never seemed to express fear in the early years after coming home with me. They took big physical and relational risks, broke all rules, and seemed to be unmoved by my ire.
I came to know this as traumatic dissociation, because the longer I lived with them the more I saw that they were afraid of... well, almost everything!
Eventually, the feelings of fear must be uncovered to engage life with appropriate amounts of risk-taking and caution. My children still have work to do in this arena. When my daughter calls in tears about how scared she is to be on her own, I soothe her. My other child still glazes over to avoid fears. There is more processing to be done for them to emerge feeling safe inside themselves and in the world.
The upshot is this: Felt safety needs to be our parenting goal for our children, so they can face forward without fear and with love in their own lives.
No easy task. No fear.
Love Matters,
️Ce
Creator of the Love+ Parenting Model found only in the Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program.
P.S. You are invited, if you haven't watched it already, to register here for my FREE Masterclass helping you bust the negative post-adoption behavior in your family.
📖 Get your copy of Drowning with My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman
✨ Hear the Success Stories: LoveMattersParenting.com/testimonials
🎧 Listen to my podcast: Unmuted Love with Ce Eshelman at your favorite place to listen.
📖 Get your copy of Drowning with My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman
✨ Hear the Success Stories: LoveMattersParenting.com/testimonials
🔍 Check out my websites: LoveMattersParenting.com and AttachPlace.com
👉 Check out my Social:
🔹YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CeEshelman
🔹 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovemattersparenting
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
Categories
- All Categories
- 4 quick tips
- acceptance
- adhd parenting
- adopted child grief
- adoption
- adoption grief
- after-effects of trauma
- anger
- angry feelings are okay
- angry teen
- angst
- animals
- anticipation
- anxiety
- apologies and connection
- attachment
- attachment growth
- attachment healing
- attachment repair
- attachment-challenged children
- attunement
- authoritarian
- authority
- autism and trauma
- back to school
- badgering
- bedtime
- behavior
- behavioral change
- blame
- blog
- body awareness
- body wisdom practices
- boundaries
- breaking cycles
- breaking habits
- breaking things
- breath
- breathe
- breathing exercise
- building trust
- burnout
- calm
- calming strategies
- charity of spirit
- cheat sheet
- child entitlement
- child grief
- child stress
- childhood trauma
- choices
- christmas
- chronic misattunement
- co-regulation
- coaching
- cognitive delay
- communication
- community
- compassion
- complex developmental trauma
- compromise
- conflict coaching
- connection
- consequences
- correction
- couch parenting
- courage
- creating family meaning
- creative learning
- critical thinking skills
- crying teens with complex trauma
- dads and enemy nurturer
- defiance and anxiety
- delayed development
- delayed gratification
- depression
- discipline
- dissociation
- distraction
- dog-tired
- dysregulation
- emotional imprinting
- emotional presence
- emotional regulation
- emotional safety
- emotional skill building
- empathy
- empathy development
- encouragement
- engagement
- enmeshment
- entitlement vs dysregulation
- executive function
- experiential healing
- extended family and friend advice
- extrapolation
- eye contact
- facts vs. feelings
- family advice
- family culture
- family togetherness
- family values
- fear
- feelings
- felt safety
- first thing in the morning
- flourishing
- foster parenting
- fun together
- funny
- generational trauma
- gentleness
- gift of validation
- gratitude
- grief
- guest
- guest blog
- guilt
- halloween
- hanukkah
- heal
- healing complex trauma
- healing grief
- healing relationship
- healing through play
- healing together
- healthy touch
- hidden grief
- high school
- hoarding
- holiday
- holiday advice
- holiday expectations for neurodiverse children
- holiday pressure
- holiday season
- holiday sensory overload
- holiday shopping tips the peaceful way
- holiday triggers
- holidays
- home alone
- hope
- hopeless
- how-to
- humor
- hypervigilance
- impatience
- in this house
- interoception
- jokes
- joy
- joy and regulation
- joy and trauma
- katie bertie
- kids are people
- kids feelings
- kwanzaa
- lagging skills
- laughter
- layne burkett
- leaving traumatized children home alone
- lies
- listen
- logical consequences
- love
- love as therapy
- love matters parenting society
- love under stress
- loving connection
- low and slow
- lying
- magic question
- meditation
- meltdowns
- memory
- mindfulness
- modeling behavior
- motivation
- narcissistic wounding
- narrow bandwidths
- national adoption month
- negative feedback loops
- negative reinforcement
- nervous system alignment
- nervous system burnout
- nervous system dysregulation
- nervous system movement tools
- nervous system overload
- nervous system regulation
- nervous system repair
- nervous system safety
- neuro-hacks
- neurochemicals
- neurochemistry
- neurodivergent children
- neurodiversity
- neuropathways
- neuroplasticity
- neuroscience
- new year goals
- new year pressure
- new years eve
- no bad kids
- no fear
- nothing seems to work
- nothing works
- numbness
- nurture
- over-explaining
- overcome
- oxytocin
- oxytocin for teens and parents
- pace
- panic
- parent shame
- parental dysregulation
- parenting
- parenting adopted children
- parenting multiple children
- parenting power
- parenting teenagers from difficult beginnings
- parenting teens
- parenting through play
- parenting tips
- parenting tired kids
- parenting traumatized children
- parenting young adult
- patience
- patience in parenting
- patreon
- perception
- perfection and parenting
- pets
- physical activity
- play
- playful parenting
- please try again
- podcast episode
- polyvagal theory
- positive feedback loops
- powerless
- practical steps for parent regulation
- praise
- primal emotion
- punishment
- rage
- reactive attachment disorder
- recover joy
- redo
- referee vs coach parenting
- regulated relationships
- regulation
- regulation routine
- relational healing
- relationship
- repair
- repair and connection
- restorative justice
- reward
- rewiring the brain
- rupture and repair
- safety and limits
- sarcasm
- saying no
- school
- science-backed tips
- screens
- secure attachment
- security
- self esteem
- self reflection
- self worth
- self-aware parenting
- self-care
- self-centered
- self-compassion
- self-directed living
- self-hate
- self-regulation
- selfish
- sensory issues
- set the tone
- shame
- shame and rejection
- share the power
- sheryl ang
- sibling conflict
- silence
- silly
- slow steady progress
- small acts of love
- social media
- somatic safety
- special needs
- stay sane
- staying steady
- stealing
- stories
- stress
- stress relief
- summer stress
- summer tips
- survival
- survival mode
- swearing
- tantrums
- tantrums and meltdowns
- teaching through example
- technology
- teen
- teen anxiety
- teen issues
- teen parenting
- teen school
- teen with complex trauma
- teenager
- thanksgiving
- the gift
- the truth about angry teen
- therapeutic parenting
- therapeutic power
- thoughts and feelings
- too stupid to live
- toxic stress
- transition into adulthood
- trauma and teenagers
- trauma brain
- trauma driven behaviors
- trauma impacted teens
- trauma informed discipline
- trauma informed parenting
- trauma parent boundaries
- trauma recovery parenting
- trauma touched children
- trauma triggers
- trauma-informed parenting
- trauma-informed relationship
- traumatized children home alone
- trick or treat candy
- trust
- truth
- unmuted love
- valentine's day
- validate
- vip parent
- waiting
- watch your tone
- what is dissociation
- when nothing seems to work
- whisper
- wind
- wind of hope
- winter break dysregulation
- winter solstice
- wisdom for adoptive parents
- worldschooling
- wrong side of the bed
- yelling
- you are not alone
- young adult children
- your gratitude matters
- yule