No Fear
blog felt safety no fear parenting adopted children parenting traumatized children Oct 01, 2019
Dear Parent,
My traumatized children never seemed to express fear in the early years after coming home with me. They took big physical and relational risks, broke all rules, and seemed to be unmoved by my ire. I came to know this as traumatic dissociation, because the longer I lived with them the more I saw that they were afraid of almost everything.
Eventually, the feelings of fear must be uncovered to engage life with appropriate amounts of risk taking and caution. My children have work to do in this arena. When my daughter calls in tears about how scared she is to be on her own, I soothe her. My son still glazes over to avoid his fears. There is more processing to be done for them to emerge feeling safe inside themselves and in the world.
The upshot is this: Felt safety needs to be our parenting goal for our children, so they can face forward without fear and with love in their own lives. No easy task. No fear.
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
Categories
- All Categories
- 4 quick tips
- acceptance
- adopted child grief
- adoption grief
- after-effects of trauma
- anger
- angry feelings are okay
- angry teen
- angst
- animals
- anticipation
- anxiety
- apologies and connection
- attachment
- attachment growth
- attachment repair
- attunement
- authoritarian
- authority
- back to school
- badgering
- bedtime
- behavior
- behavioral change
- blame
- blog
- body awareness
- body wisdom practices
- boundaries
- breaking cycles
- breaking habits
- breaking things
- breath
- breathe
- breathing exercise
- building trust
- burnout
- calm
- cheat sheet
- child entitlement
- child grief
- child stress
- childhood trauma
- choices
- christmas
- coaching
- cognitive delay
- communication
- community
- compassion
- complex developmental trauma
- compromise
- conflict coaching
- connection
- consequences
- correction
- couch parenting
- courage
- creating family meaning
- creative learning
- critical thinking skills
- crying teens with complex trauma
- dads and enemy nurturer
- defiance and anxiety
- delayed development
- delayed gratification
- depression
- discipline
- dissociation
- distraction
- dog-tired
- dysregulation
- emotional presence
- emotional regulation
- emotional skill building
- empathy
- empathy development
- encouragement
- engagement
- enmeshment
- entitlement vs dysregulation
- experiential healing
- extended family and friend advice
- extrapolation
- eye contact
- facts vs. feelings
- family advice
- family togetherness
- fear
- feelings
- felt safety
- first thing in the morning
- fun together
- funny
- generational trauma
- gentleness
- gift of validation
- gratitude
- grief
- guest
- guilt
- halloween
- hanukkah
- heal
- healing complex trauma
- healing grief
- healing relationship
- healing through play
- healing together
- healthy touch
- hidden grief
- hoarding
- holiday
- holiday advice
- holiday expectations for neurodiverse children
- holiday season
- holiday sensory overload
- holiday shopping tips the peaceful way
- holiday triggers
- holidays
- home alone
- hope
- hopeless
- how-to
- humor
- impatience
- interoception
- jokes
- joy
- joy and regulation
- joy and trauma
- kids are people
- kids feelings
- kwanzaa
- lagging skills
- laughter
- layne burkett
- leaving traumatized children home alone
- lies
- listen
- logical consequences
- love
- love as therapy
- love matters parenting society
- loving connection
- low and slow
- lying
- magic question
- meditation
- meltdowns
- memory
- mindfulness
- motivation
- narcissistic wounding
- narrow bandwidths
- national adoption month
- negative feedback loops
- negative reinforcement
- nervous system alignment
- nervous system burnout
- nervous system dysregulation
- nervous system movement tools
- nervous system overload
- nervous system regulation
- nervous system repair
- nervous system safety
- neuro-hacks
- neurochemicals
- neurochemistry
- neurodivergent children
- neurodiversity
- neuroplasticity
- neuroscience
- new year goals
- new year pressure
- new years eve
- no bad kids
- no fear
- nothing seems to work
- nothing works
- numbness
- nurture
- over-explaining
- overcome
- oxytocin
- oxytocin for teens and parents
- pace
- panic
- parent shame
- parental dysregulation
- parenting
- parenting adopted children
- parenting multiple children
- parenting power
- parenting teenagers from difficult beginnings
- parenting teens
- parenting through play
- parenting tired kids
- parenting traumatized children
- parenting young adult
- patience
- patience in parenting
- patreon
- perception
- perfection and parenting
- pets
- physical activity
- play
- playful parenting
- please try again
- podcast episode
- positive feedback loops
- powerless
- practical steps for parent regulation
- praise
- primal emotion
- punishment
- rage
- reactive attachment disorder
- recover joy
- redo
- referee vs coach parenting
- regulation
- regulation routine
- relational healing
- relationship
- repair
- restorative justice
- reward
- rewiring the brain
- saying no
- school
- science-backed tips
- screens
- secure attachment
- security
- self esteem
- self reflection
- self worth
- self-aware parenting
- self-care
- self-centered
- self-compassion
- self-directed living
- self-hate
- self-regulation
- selfish
- sensory issues
- set the tone
- shame
- share the power
- sheryl ang
- sibling conflict
- silence
- silly
- slow steady progress
- small acts of love
- social media
- somatic safety
- special needs
- stay sane
- staying steady
- stealing
- stories
- stress
- stress relief
- summer stress
- summer tips
- survival
- survival mode
- swearing
- tantrums
- technology
- teen
- teen anxiety
- teen issues
- teen with complex trauma
- teenager
- thanksgiving
- the gift
- the truth about angry teen
- therapeutic parenting
- therapeutic power
- thoughts and feelings
- too stupid to live
- toxic stress
- transition into adulthood
- trauma and teenagers
- trauma brain
- trauma impacted teens
- trauma informed parenting
- trauma parent boundaries
- trauma recovery parenting
- trauma touched children
- trauma triggers
- traumatized children home alone
- trick or treat candy
- trust
- truth
- unmuted love
- validate
- vip parent
- waiting
- watch your tone
- what is dissociation
- when nothing seems to work
- whisper
- wind
- wind of hope
- winter break dysregulation
- winter solstice
- wisdom for adoptive parents
- worldschooling
- wrong side of the bed
- yelling
- you are not alone
- young adult children
- your gratitude matters
- yule