Mimics

Dear Parent,

When children experience maltreatment, neglect, and attachment breaches in the first two years of life, inevitably the rise in cortisol levels into the pre-frontal cortex interrupts the brain’s natural development of reciprocal, social interaction skills. 

As a result, you might find your five-year-old talking like a little Einstein or a Mini-Me.  Be careful of your own snarky, sarcastic tone because it is going to come back at you, just the way you say it--frighteningly unfiltered.

Fast-forward ten years. You might find that same child, now a teenager, taking on the personality of those he most spends time with projecting social ease and fitting in, when his own presentation would be somewhat awkward or even blank. This may be fine given the quality of the company.  

When your child talks like a cartoon character or Disney Channel teen, a drama queen from too many hours in front of the TV; when your child is transformed into an anime character from too many salacious computer novels; when a gory, dark side emerges from watching one horror flick after another, it is important to realize that your child may be more influenced than other children, and all children are susceptible.  

Mimicry is normal for children.  They try personality styles on like clothes; however, when it substitutes for a core sense of self, it becomes important to moderate the input.  Restrict the amount of time for non-human, technological input, and provide interesting media content that will instill curiosity, passion, compassion, and pro-social models for human interaction.

Adults mimic the same way as kids by taking Keeping Up with the Kardashians seriously or needing to possess the latest model, high status car.  When our kids are not the same as other kids, we usually have to face the reality that we cannot parent like most of our neighbors.

Who or what is training the social skills of your special needs child?

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.