Meltdown Avoidance Algorithm

Oct 24, 2022

Dear Parent,

Ground Hog Day took on new meaning after the movie with Bill Murray was released. Well, at least for my generation. Most kids have no idea what I am talking about when I make the reference. I keep meaning to find a modern replacement. Some day.

If your child gets dysregulated at the same time every day or over the same task every week, you need to analyze the situation.

Here is a pretty good algorithm for warding off meltdowns:

play, work, play, work, play.

I know this sequencing goes against the grain of your work ethic, which dictates: work, play, or work, work, play or work, work, work.

Clean up your room and then you can play.
Take out the trash, do your homework, and if you do a good job maybe you can go to John's house to hang out.
Go brush your teeth, then I will read to you.

The work ethic algorithm creates dysregulation, because our kids' brains are different. In your analysis of those dysregulation meltdowns, you may discover that you are hooked on the work ethic algorithm, in which case switch it up:

Pick a game we can play before it's time to clean up your room. Fair enough?
Let's play tag, before it's time to do half your homework. Tag you're it! Later: After homework, we can make bracelets.
I know you want to go to John's house and you are going to get to do that. Do you want 30 minutes of Wii time before you do your homework? Or do you want to get it over with, so you can get to John's sooner? It's up to you honey.

Reminder, nothing works all the time. Some things work better than others.

Love matters,

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.

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