Holidays Coming Up On You Like The Roadrunner?

holiday advice Nov 18, 2024

Parents,

Are the holidays coming up on you like the Roadrunner? Oh yes they are, so maybe slow your roll. Remember what Wile E. Coyote looked like at the end of every single episode?

A word to the wiser: Holidays are not emergencies either. Beep Beep.

If you are new in these here parts, I imagine you feel like you can't get what you need fast enough to save you getting crispy around the edges of your fur. I am really wanting to encourage you to lift up off the gas peddle, coast a little, and trust the process. Granted, easier said than done. 

What is the process anyway? 

Keep this in the foreground folks. Your wellness is the most important thing, and returning to the basics is key to feeling peace and joy.

 

The world is in a bit of a spin following the election, regardless of who you voted for. Honor the fact that our kids feel the vibration of all of that, too, even if they don't know why. They may have started their ramp up before the election, before the holiday onslaught, as school becomes too much, again. Kids are vibration sponges, so they are on high alert and feeling edgy. Maybe you are, too.

 

Here is a recipe for keeping your cool and still moving forward:

1. Focus first on your own self-care: sleep, eating well, exercise, being mindful of looking for the good and seeking out the beautiful. All that matters so much to the whole. Remember?
2. Your child’s brain is more different than typical, so lower your expectations of what they are capable of during this time of year. Go slow with low demand, and take the emergency out of their refusals and outbursts. Refusal and outbursts are communication. Our job as parents is listening to what they are saying with their behavior, and it is very rarely that they are lazy or selfish.
3. Accommodate them rather than correct them. It sounds like this in the face of their upset, "Would you like to do this yourself or would you like my help, Sweetheart?"
4. Connect with your kids even when you think they are being “bad.” All children are good inside. They need you to regulate yourself, so you can co-regulate them.
5. Show up in the places that support you, do your own emotional work, connect with other parents of neuro-atypical children, and seek super smart therapeutic parenting advice. Show up even if you don’t feel you have anything to give. Showing up is giving.
6. Lighten the mood. Have some fun together. Don’t take your mood cues from your kids. Be the mood cue for them.
7. Hold on, sweet friends, everything IS going to be okay. Believe in yourself and your children. Humans have built in, organic wiring for love, even when our hearts have been broken.
Blocked trust in a child is a broken heart.
Blocked care in a parent is a broken heart.

Repair is possible. One step at a time. Big love to you all this holiday season.


❤️ Ce

Creator of the Love+ Parenting Model found only in the
Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program.

P.S. You are invited, if you haven't watched it already, to register here for my FREE Masterclass helping you bust the negative post adoption behavior in your family.

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📖 Get your copy of Drowning with My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman

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