Dysregulation Begets Dysregulation

Dear Parents,

Parents want their children to do the changing. I have wanted that, too. However, you have to change yourself and stay changed for a long time before your child will ever begin the change process.  

Regulation begets regulation. Dysregulation begets dysregulation.   When our cortisol is over the moon, we will not think clearly much of the time. Perhaps that is why we forget who has to change first.

Our children's brains are different. You have to parent the brain of your child. Even that won’t work immediately or all the time. Persistence pays off. Eventually, the emotional intensity in your home will lower. Keep the faith and find a combination of things that will help you maintain your own regulation.  

What is that for you?  

Here is a short list of possibilities. 

What are you physically doing when you say you have tried everything?

• Deep Breathing Before Directing, Correcting, Expecting
• Focus on Connecting Rather than Correcting
• Daily Play Time and Sensory Activity with your Child
• Daily Prayer
• Daily Meditation
• Daily Yoga
• Daily Inspirational Reading
• Daily Affirmations
• Daily Personal Tea Time
• Daily Exercise
• Daily Dog Walk
• Daily Healthy Eating without Deprivation
• Weekly Friend Connection
• Weekly Respite Dates
• Weekly Hobby
• Regular Sexual Release for Parents, Love Making, Sensual Time Alone or with Another
• Regular Trauma Treatment, Therapy, Marital Counseling, Medication, Biofeedback, EMDR, Neurofeedback, Acupuncture, Massage, Shamanic Healing, Drumming Circle
• Regular Parent Support Group
• Frequent Overnight Respite

Doing any of those things regularly? Get to it.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out The Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.