Sorry, Consequences Will Not Teach

Dear Parent,

Most traditional parenting strategies will not work long term with an attachment challenged child.  However, it is important to allow natural and logical consequences to persist in your child's life because it is the way of the world and children need to understand that over time. Still natural and logical consequences will likely not create huge behavioral changes.

A natural and logical consequence becomes punishment when you deliver it by withholding love and giving anger, disapproval, rage, put downs, rejection, hopelessness, and dismissiveness.  

This type of negative emotional consequencing is punishment.  It doesn't work long-term to change behavior and it makes gashes on the heart of your relationship with your child.  That punishment can last a lifetime. 

A loving, short talk is a logical consequence.  That will change behavior faster than your expressed rage, disappointment, disgust, anger, frustration, rejection or dismissal. Why? 

Because a loving relationship changes the heart (otherwise known as the brain) of your child. Two for the price of one.

Love heals.

Love,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.