Charity of Spirit

Dear Parent,

Something I know for a fact is that our children are typically hypervigilant, having come from difficult beginnings where observation skills had true survival value. They learn everything we teach them with our attitudes and our actions.

You doubt me?  I know it seems like they are not learning what you are teaching because they ask the same questions over and over, make the same poor choices over and over, and opt for their own counsel over yours over and over.  

Turns out, that is how they are learning.  When they learn something over and over they are creating neuropathways.  It takes about 400 repetitions to create one neuropathway.  As the brain matures, our children get more access to their brains' executive function; therefore, more access to what they have learned.  

Since our children's emotional age is usually about half their chronological age, the executive function does not develop until well into their twenties.  The good news is that they can catch up. And, when they do, lo and behold, there are those beautiful neuropathways waiting in the wings to be actualized.

So, I said all of that just to say this:  If you want your children to have loving spirits, you must teach them with your charitable words and actions. They are always watching, and will in time become the adults you are teaching them to be. Have faith.

It’s what you do, not necessarily what you say that matters.  Teach charity with your spirit.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.