The Healing Salve Of Repair

Dear Parent,

Parents take the high road much of the time.  We bite our tongues, take time out, lock ourselves in the bathroom to get a breath to stay as adult as possible.  Our attachment challenged children deserve emotionally regulated, loving parents.

Sometimes we parents get tired, worn out, and fed up.  It is in these times that we risk taking the low road, saying or doing things that wound, reject, and scare our already traumatized children.  Being the parent does not give us permission to behave hurtfully toward our challenged and challenging children. When a child is re-wounded by us, we owe them an apology and emotional repair.

• Repair is like healing salve on a gnarly cut.
• Repair keeps our parent/child relationships from getting infected with bitterness, resentment, and rage.
• Repair is loving and models taking emotional responsibility.

We need to be what we want our children to be.  Parenting is not a win/lose proposition.  It needs to be win/win.  

Repair whenever you are wrong, scary, or hurtful.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.