Look At My Eyes

anger attachment eye contact gentleness Apr 03, 2025

picture of a small child smiling and looking directly at the camera

Dear Parent,

Good eye contact is key to attachment. Here are some gentle ways to see eye to eye.

Look through a glass of water at each other.
Stand behind your child while looking into the bathroom mirror.
Make funny, silly--not scary or mean--faces at each other.
Take your child out into the garden to stare down a caterpillar together.
Paint each other's faces.
Smile into your child's eyes.
Make some fun eye stuff up for yourself.

Just one no-no. Try very hard never to say in anger, "Look at me, look at my eyes!" From the first moment in your home, your child has been learning to trust you. Look at your child with eyes soft like a mother or father's toward a new born child. Angry, cold eyes hurt the soul.

Eyes so transparent that through them the soul is seen.
- Theophile Gautier

Love Matters,

Ce

Creator of the Love+ Parenting Model found only in the Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program.

P.S. You are invited, if you haven't watched it already, to register here for my FREE Masterclass helping you bust the negative post-adoption behavior in your family.

📖 Get your copy of Drowning with My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman

✨ Hear the Success Stories: LoveMattersParenting.com/testimonials

🎧 Listen to my podcast: Unmuted Love with Ce Eshelman at your favorite place to listen.

📖 Get your copy of Drowning with My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman

✨ Hear the Success Stories: LoveMattersParenting.com/testimonials

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Look At My Eyes

Dear Parent,

Love Matters,

Ce

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