Fine Tuning The Parenting Dance (Part 1 of 2)

Dear Parent,

If you are working hard at connection, orchestrating a sensory positive environment, and intervening with corrections yet are still finding your child reactive to interventions, then it is time to re-evaluate all three.

1. Engagement—Smiling Eyes, Loving Tone, Playful Engagement

2. Safe Environment—Sensory and Body Nurturing

3. Correction—Natural, Restorative Justice, Success Oriented

Fine tuning:

• The ratio of engagement to correction needs to be about 5:1. Play, play, play.  When was the last time you got on the floor and played?  How many times have you leveled a correction at your child?  5:1. 
• Bolster your child with healthy food, lots of water, and sensory experience every two hours or so.  Make yourself a schedule and it will be easier to remember to do it.
• Correction needs to be appropriately leveled for success. Aim the level of the change you are requesting and your expectations for the emotional age and capacity of your child when dysregulated.  When your child is successful, then praise, praise, praise the success. Only level up when your child has had solid success and you think s/he can achieve more next time.  If your child is not having success with your intervention, then you need to adjust your level of correction to get success.  Power struggling to get the behavior you want at this juncture is failure, so level down.

Power struggling at any juncture is failure.  Try again.  Parents get do-overs, too.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.