Face It: Homework Does Suck

Dear Parent,

You might notice that your child has a habituated response to certain experiences, also known as triggers for blowouts. Homework is a usual suspect, like brushing teeth or going to bed might be.  What you can know is that something awful, icky, painful or scary happened around this kind of activity that caused a reptilian brain, fight-flight-freeze response back in the preverbal time.  

Babies don't get homework, so that is not what is happening here, you might think; but you would likely be wrong-headed.  What your child is having is a familiar feeling brought on by homework that triggers the reptilian brain to rear its wild, over-reactive head.

Interrupting the feedback loop is one way to work toward changing the pattern that has become habituated over time. If homework is done at the kitchen table, bake chocolate chip cookies one day during study time and eat them (okay, make them gluten-free, organic, coconut balls, if you must.) The next day play tag around the table or a game of cards.  The next, blow bubbles.  You get it, right?  Mix up the experience of homework, so it can record differently in the fear-based brain of your child.  This is called creating new neuro-pathways for HOMEWORK.

One personal opinion about homework:  Our kids don’t need it.  Homework causes way more heartache than learning.  Get your 504 Plan or IEP to stomp it out. 

Home is for peace, love, fun, family, and not for struggle, fear, hatred and heartache.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Check out the Love Matters Parenting Society membership for more support.