Back-to-School Anxiety: Traps to Avoid & Hacks to Try
Aug 11, 2025
Dear Parent,
Ah, back-to-school.
That magical time when fresh backpacks (thank goodness), sharpened pencils (yes, some still use pencils), and new kicks somehow share the stage with meltdowns, stomachaches, and “I’m not going, and you can’t make me” declarations.
If your child is one of the many who feels more dread than delight about heading back to class—especially if they have a history of anxiety, trauma, or just a hard time with transitions—they’re not alone. In fact, anxiety is the most common mental health challenge in children, and it tends to flare when change and uncertainty show up.
But here’s the good news: there are ways to keep anxiety from hijacking their mornings (and your sanity).
Anxiety Traps to Watch Out For
- Talking About Anxiety… a-LOT
Constantly naming “anxiety” can unintentionally feed it. Instead, help kids label the sensations (“butterflies,” “tight chest,” “hot face”) or the other feelings hiding underneath—anticipation, curiosity, excitement. - Letting Avoidance Win
Skipping school to avoid fear feels like relief in the moment, but it makes anxiety stronger long term. Gentle exposure—walking the halls before school starts, meeting the teacher—can shrink the monster. - Trying to Fix It All for Them
Your child doesn’t need a speech about why they’ll “be fine.” They need to know you get it, you’re with them, and they have tools to use.
Back-to-School Neuro-Hacks That Actually Work
- Regulate Yourself First
Your child’s nervous system is reading yours like a book. If you’re spinning out about the year ahead, they’ll borrow that energy. Slow your pace, breathe deeply, and get a reality check on your expectations. Go slow and low demand for the win! - Make the Unknown… Known
Before school starts, visit the playground, the hallways, the cafeteria. Find their classroom, meet the staff, and sort out drop-off/pick-up logistics so there are fewer surprises. You know how much they love surprises--not. - Build Routines Early
Start wake-up, bedtime, and morning routines before the first day. Predictability is calming to the brain—especially for kids from difficult beginnings. Yes, they will fuss about starting it early but do it anyway. They won’t thank you, but you will thank yourself. - Give Them Comfort on the Go
A small fabric square with your scent, a special stone, or a drop of lavender oil in their pocket can serve as a sensory anchor during the day. A hair scrunchy can work wonders. - Share Power at the Door
Let them choose—hug, hand squeeze, high five. The point isn’t how you say goodbye, but that they feel some control over it.
Neuro-Hacks Mean Calmer Kids
- Breathe Like a Pro: Lengthen the exhale—calm and fear can’t live in the body at the same time.
- Move It Out: Jumping jacks, dancing, or even silly “bunny hops” can shift brain chemistry fast.
- Brush It Off: Literally “wipe” stress off arms and shoulders. It’s goofy, and it works.
- Mantra Magic: Short phrases like “I’ve got this” or “My mind is strong” can help anchor them in a calmer state.
One Last Little Thing
Your child’s brain is not broken—it’s just doing its best to protect them. With patience, structure, and a few brain-savvy hacks, back-to-school can shift from a season of dread to a season of…well, less dread. I can be so uplifting sometimes. 🫣
You’ve got this.
They’ve got this.
And yes, the school year can start with far fewer meltdowns and way more wins.
For a deeper dive into these tips and more, listen to this week’s episode of the Unmuted Love Podcast with Ce Eshelman wherever you get your podcasts. Click here to watch the video version of Ce's podcast.
Love Matters,
Ce
Creator of the Love+ Parenting Model found only in the Love Matters Parenting Society Therapeutic Parent Program.
Want to overcome your child's destructive behavior? Follow this link to find out how you can join the Love Matters Parenting Society today: http://start.lovemattersparenting.com/guide
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